Sigh. Hmmm.

Well this will be short because it is more of vent session than anything. I am sure others feel the same way in their lives. I often feel doomed, just doomed because of the negative things that happen in my life that effect my life or the ones in it.

I have a good life, no doubt but it always seems to be something. No matter how much I battle feeling doomed, something always seems to happen that just makes sigh and feel blue.

In the past, I have been a pretty emotional person and I still am but I think I just handle it differently now. So I try not to over react to certain situations but gosh, I tell you there are times where it is hard to battle that and keep myself like feeling doomed. Everything always gets better and I do believe everything happens for reason just not sure why on the latest two situations. Sigh.

Hmmm

Hmmm that is all I can say. There is so much that goes on in my mind but I cannot seem to get it out. I used to be so good at getting things out especially when writing or typing. I know there is something that needs to come out but there are to many jumbled thoughts. I am so busy at work and this past week just drained everything out of me. I have always struggled with work life balance. My son was and is always first but now that he is older he does not need me as much because he can drive himself, feed himself etc.

I have been able to help a homeless man a little bit here and there. Recently I gave him a new clean shirt. I saw him a few days later and he was wearing it. I wanted to get him sleeping bag but  then I noticed he had one, which he did not have before. I pray for him, so I have to say that it was God's doing. Don, the homeless man does have a jacket but it looks old and I am sure it's not that warm. Next gift will be a nice warm ski coat. I think a ski coat will be best because that way it holds up in the rain.

Someone had suggested to donate all the extra Halloween candy at work to the troops, so I ran with it. I have been collecting candy, toothbrushes and toothpaste. I am pleased with what we have and will add the stuff to another group's collection for it all to be sent off.

So what will be my next thing to d?. I love giving back, I think this is what is in me dying to come out. How do I make difference? How do I get items as I cannot afford to always use my own money? Someday the pieces will come together, they will. I pray that they will.  Pay it forward. Give to others that is what I want to do.

Let Go!

Learning to let go has been a big part of my life lately. With a son who is now 18 and in college but still living at home is great and not so great at the same time. It was a big adjustment not only for me but for my son. We had our battles but finally when he stopped hanging out with who he was hanging out with things went back to normal. He started to focus more on school and baseball and now things are falling into place for him.

It is hard to let go when you see your son not being himself, not being true to who he is so I prayed and prayed and prayed. God presented himself and my son found his way again. At this point in my son's life I guess all I can do is pray. I can tell him what I think and what I see but in his mind he is 18 and he knows everything right? Ha ha us adults, adults that have been adults longer than an 18 year old know the answer to that... Well most of us do anyway.

Things I need to let go is Fear, Fear, the unknown and what I have not done and should have done in life. I think way to much on what I should have done or not done. 

For now I will rest my brain and watch the Giants game. Go Giants!