Reflecting

My son has been on his flight to Africa for several hours with many more to go. No contact, talk about letting go. I have no choice, can't check on him to make sure he took his Malaria pill or if he has eaten m slept and if he is keeping himself hydrated.

I am not sure I am liking the no contact thing but it will be good growth for me as a mother. Instead of thinking, dwelling on the fact that I can not check on him I can reflect on what others have told me. Maybe God is speaking through them to me to help me relax and realize he will be alright.

Lately, I have been told what a great kid my son is by others. How they really enjoy him and how the kids (at his new school) really like him. He has fit right in and seems to be well liked. Today, at the airport one of the staff introduced herself and told me how she feels bummed that my son did not go to that school when he was in 9th grade, she would have loved to have him. She said what a good kid he is.....  I believe my son has found a place he can be himself, is accepted for who he is and is appreciated for the person he is and wants to be. This brings me comfort and with that maybe I can get a good night sleep tonight. I leave my son in God's hands.

Far Away Trip

So it's been said that letting go of your child starts the day the child is born. I think I have held on tightly but not as tightly as others and probably less than others. Each parent, each child are different and I believe you have to handle your child in the way that is best for your child. I believe I have done this but he has matured, so now it is time to reevaluate.

I let go when he was in 6th grade when he went on his science trip, again in the 8th grade for the trip to D.C. Of course, there has been shorter trips throughout the years. This year as a Junior he is on his way to Malawi, Africa. I have tried to play it cool because I know I will drive him nuts with my fussing over him but it is a huge trip not only for him but me and I am not even going.

He is going with a great group of staff from his school and a great group of students from his school. I am proud of him for choosing and being selected to go to Africa and that he has had no fears about going.

Here I sit when I should be doing other things but the worry is heavy. I know I need to give my worry up to God as he will relive me of this feeling. The morning has a lot of chaos with the airline overbooking, confusion about how many bags each can check in, not having tickets or boarding passes for some of the connecting flights. I praise the woman who handled all of this as I know I felt stress and I was there for support for my son.

Letting go, I have no choice today but to let go. I cannot keep asking him or having him check for his passport and wallet. Does he have everything? Will he be careful not to lose anything?Will he get separated from the group? Will he feel alright? Will he lose his tickets? Will he drink the water in Africa even though I have told NOT to? The questions go on and on and on. The heavy feeling in my chest does not let up but it is time to let go. To trust the Lord that my son will be alright, he will not get lost, he will remember to take his medication, he will not get separated from the group. The flights and bus rides will make it to their designation safely.

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. This is only day one! Will I get better or worse as the time goes? I guess only time will tell.